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A Bit of Humor

O'Brien's and O'Bryan's

Over around St. Paul the other day a Highway Patrol Trooper spied a lime truck cruising along at a sports car clip and stopped it. The following conversation resulted.

What's your name? Bob O'Brien
Where do you work? O'Brien Rock Crusher
Whose truck is this? Joe O'Brien
Who are you taking this load to? Ed O'Bryan
Who is your father? Joe O'Brien
Well, you take this ticket and go see John O'Brien

From John O'Brien, Justice of the Peace, Bob O'Brien learned that it costs $15 to drive Joe O'Brien's truck too fast from O'Brien's Rock Crusher to Ed O'Bryan's. The trooper's name was neither O'Brien nor O'Bryan, but White. It's a wonder the Irish let him into the affair.

Taken from the St. Paul Journal, August 17, 1961
(Can also be found in Annals of St. Paul: The Swan Song for the St. Paul Journal, pg. 454).

Didn't Work

A festive cuss who lives not a thousand miles from the geographical center of our young and thriving city, tried to enrich himself a few days since by obtaining money under false pretense. The aforementioned cuss it seems had been gambling and had squandered his bottom dollar and wanted to raise a new "stake" to again try his fortune by "bucking against the Tiger." He first visited Middaugh & Dolman's store and requested Mr. M. to loan him 50 cents for a few moments as he (the gay gambolier) had a $20 note over at Roycroft & Co.'s and as soon as he could get it "busted" he would call in and pay him. Mr. Middaugh gave him the funds asked for and he went directly over to Johnson's and L.P. Foster's where he told the same story and got 50 cents out of each of these houses. The "gambolier" thought himself a success and resolved to "go it blind" for awhile and raise his loaners 50 cents better, and made his first draw on Dr. Neely, at the drug store, for $1, by telling the same story as above related. The Doctor gave him the dollar; he then started out to hunt up a game. After he had left the store the Dr. was told by a gentleman, that he had seen that same individual borrow money in two places on the strength of the $20 note said to be deposited at Roycroft's. The Doctor immediately smelt a large size mouse, and started out in search of the individual he loaned the dollar to not five minutes before. he soon found him comfortable seated at a card table. The loaner of the "filthy lucre" was as happy as a baked clam while the gentleman of pills was as angry as a bull-pup with patent clothes pins on his tail and bluntly told the knight of the four kings to deliver himself of the money he had loaned him or he would "go through him like a dose of Croton Oil." The gambolier forthwith shelled out the same "scads," he received of the Doctor.

Mr. Middaugh soon heard of Dr. Neely's success, and resolved to make his half dollar out of the festive cuss the first time he saw him. It was not long before Mr. M. met and told him that he wanted his pay there and then. The man of cards tried to beg off, and stated that his finances were low, but he could not get away until he took off his coat and left it with Middaugh as collateral to secure the payment of the money obtained under false pretense. Perry Morgaus of L.P. Foster & Co. made the scamp pay him the 50 cents he borrowed of that firm under the same circumstances. Mr. Johnson has not been as fortunate as the balance of those swindled by this festive cuss.

Taken from the Osage Mission Journal, October 15, 1868




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